Saturday, March 1, 2014

Why Parents Needed To Stay CALM When Raising Teens

By Saleem Rana


Clinical psychologist and writer, Laura Kastner, PhD, spoke with Lon Woodbury on "Parenting Choices for Struggling Teenagers", a radio talk show hosted on L.A. Talk Radio. She talked about raising rebellious teenagers by getting CALM and staying sensible. CALM, she explained, is a phrase or acronym for positive steps parents could take to establish self-discipline when faced by a troubled adolescent. During the interview, she detailed a range of adult strategies for solid self-regulation that had proven to work incredibly well.

Lon Woodbury is the founder of Woodbury Reports and has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984. Besides his work as an Educational Consultant, he is a prolific writer, and his Parent Empowerment book series is available on amazon.com.

About Dr. Laura Kastner

Dr. Laura Kastner has authored 4 publications on parenting. The first is "The Seven Year Stretch," the second is "The Launching Years;" the third is "Getting to Calm;" and the fourth is "Wise-Minded parenting." She is a scientific psychologist with her very own private practice, and also a University professor, with positions in Psychology, Psychiatry and the Sociology departments at the University of Washington.

The Secret of Parenting Children, Getting from CALM to WISE

Among the most essential parenting skills necessary in taking care of kids is learning to be sensible under pressure, said Dr. Kastner, who believes in teaching parents self-control. This is necessary because when a teen faces their mother or father, the situation normally explodes into a shouting match. Moms and dads must find out how maintain their own self-control to ensure that they can begin to model self-control for their teens.

CALM, she went on to say, is an acronym for the steps moms and dads can make use of to develop self-control when in conflict with their teen. C is for cool and conscious breathing; A is for assessing and examining your choices; L is for listening and paying attention with compassion; and M is mapping your strategy or plan of action.

In discussing why the majority of adolescents began to act out in strange and unsettling ways, the guest explained that at around the age of 13, children were in the midst of an evolutionary brain change, known as remodeling, that was hard wired into them. Their brains were like a 'site under construction' because they were beginning the climb to adulthood and independent living. How teens responded to this biological change depended on their temperament. Some were quiet, some sought thrills and others were at risk of depression. Parents needed to stop leading with their emotions, and develop a calm, clear, and assertive parenting style.




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